No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
