i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
