I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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