My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
