Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I want a musical about memes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
