Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
