Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
