If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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