I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
