Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
