sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
