she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
