Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
