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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  why is allison so mad at me??

  (469): View more from Texas

  me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  crap..

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual

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• (818): View more from California

  The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Remember the time you cried about coconuts

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.

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