Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
