it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
