I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
