Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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