Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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