so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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