you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
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Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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