I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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