Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
