If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
