SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
