Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
