I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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