i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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