She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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