I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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