i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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