either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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