you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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