I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
