finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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