The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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