Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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