We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
