she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize