butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
