Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me