I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.