god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
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he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
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Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.