wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst