I got chris browned last night
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
