He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
how does that bad decision feel?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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