she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize