Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
