Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
