I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
