Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
