She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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