are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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