I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
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I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
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! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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