So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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