She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
