the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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