wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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