Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
