I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
