How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
