i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
